Urgh. Worst dream ever.
I went to KP’s house with my mum. Since you don’t know, KP = Tenderheart; The pretty boy I’m head over heels with.
Anyway, I was with my mum and his mum sitting in his house (I think they might have been talking to each other, however in real life they are yet to even meet). This house which belonged to him was certainly not his real-life house, it was a total mansion, but not an old-style one, more of a modern one. I sat on the computer in the lounge logged into msn and I was talking to KP online when it clicked that he might be home, so I went to his mum and asked if he was in his room (I wanted to surprise him).
–Yes, I realise this is a bit fucked up–
She said he was in the other room, which was more like a separate wing of the house. So I went there and saw him standing at the foot of a spiral staircase leading to god-knows-where talking to a few of his guy friends. I sneaked up until he caught my eye and he was like “you’re like ALWAYS at my house aren’t you?” and he wasn’t friendly at all. No hug, no nothing.
It was only then that I realised they were all wearing Christmas hats even though it was several weeks after Christmas. Then some weirdo dressed as santa came out from behind a wall (I’m presuming it was one of his friends) and then walked up to KP and hugged him. Y’know those guy-hugs, haha.
Then people started showing up from school and from his work, I recognised some and they were all dressed in Christmas type clothing, shiny red and green dresses and all with santa hats.
I saw Michelle walk in, it was one of those scenes where a girl walks in swaying her hips with her hair blowing and the light focusing only on her while everyone seems to move just to get out of her path. Yeah, she ain’t that gorgeous in real life but she looked very glamorous in this scene. Michelle is KP’s ex. >.<
I also saw some other loser dressed up as a giant care bear. And I saw KP trying to "beat him up" all playfully with a smile on his face and I saw a big Tenderheart bear toy in his arms and I thought "I wonder if he remembers and thought about me..."
I was upset and emotional because he acted as if I didn’t exist and he was hosting a massive (about 200 people invited) post-xmas party and I was not only not invited but also was not even told that it was occurring. I went back into the other wing of the house and cried to my mum and left.
KP never appears in my dreams. And my dreams are either traumatic (someone dying, very traumatic experience such as fire, bombing, car crash) or just fucked up and don’t make sense.
However, KP has appeared in one other dream a few months ago. I was at school and he followed me to every class all cutesy and friendly and he wouldn’t leave my side, always standing/sitting right next to me. Then at lunch we went to where our group normally sits and I went to hug him and he just pushed me away from him, really cold. So once again it was me showing him affection and him not returning it.
I hate dreaming because I hate sleeping.
I’m going to the movies in a few hours with my gay friend Ben. I used to like him once and I’m sure I still have a soft spot for him but now he has a boyfriend. A shitty abusive one at that, but none the less he’s involved and I doubt we can be cutesy like we were before regardless of whether he’s gay.
Lame.
Btw, i'm still working at my aunt's shop. I'm hell good at serving customers :D But i think i fucked up the EFTPOS 5 minutes ago >.
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cuddly
grumpy
giddy/smitten
thirsty
hot
sick
eyes = hurt
